Turning Criticism into a Learning Tool.

How many times a day do you receive some sort of criticism? If I think about it, there are at least 1-2 criticisms that I receive on a daily basis. If I would let all of these get to me every single day, I think I would want to hide underneath my blankets for the next few years.

When I worked at a Hotel while still a student, the criticisms came from every direction. It is then that I learned how to take the given criticism and make the best out of it. I’ve mastered taking criticism from strangers or acquaintances, but I’m still working on being able to smile at the criticism I get from friends and family. I’ll keep working on it, because ultimately, if you can turn criticism into something positive, your road to a happier life is that much easier. No longer will criticism ruin your day, week etc. No longer will criticism tempt you to stop something you’re doing.

The first step is to realize that criticisms can be a wonderful learning tool. You need to realize that criticism is a way to measure your performance at whatever you’re doing and therefore improve on it. This is the same as learning from your mistakes. You make mistakes, you pick yourself up and next time, you know not to do that again. Treat criticism the same way. Learn from it.

The next step is to turn off your defensive side. It is natural for someone who is being criticised to respond defensively, but this will not help you in the long run. In certain cases, it can even cause more criticism to come your way. Even if the criticism is harsh, answer politely and never cut the person criticizing off – let them finish what they have to say, maybe they’ll even say something that can help you improve. If not, then don’t even pay it any attention. Sometimes, you will get empty criticisms that are just thrown at you because a person is having a rather bad day and taking some sort of anger out on you. This is not worth your time.

Thirdly, you need to be kind to yourself. Don’t put yourself down just because someone pointed out something that could be done differently. Just because someone pointed something out doesn’t mean that you’ve completley failed and messed up. It just means that next time, you can do even better!

Finally, and this goes along with step number two, make sure to ask questions. By this I mean if for example, you are giving a presentation and your boss tells you that you could have done something better, don’t stand there feeling like you’ve completely failed. Rather, listen to what he’s saying and reply politely. Ask him what exactly it is that you could improve on. If you don’t understand the reasoning behind the criticism, don’t be afraid to ask. This is especially good in a business/work environment as asking questions shows initiative and willingness to learn and improve.

8 Responses to “Turning Criticism into a Learning Tool.”

1. David Turnbull says:

   November 5, 2009 at 04:00

   Great thoughts Karina (I actually have an article in a similar vain going up today). I think that point about turning off your defensive side is really important.

   In my experience the only time people get truly defensive is when there’s some truth in the critique, or the “victim” has self doubt. In both instances it’s something they can work on, and need to work on. :)

   Reply
   • K says:

     November 5, 2009 at 06:04

     Hi David, thanks for the comment! I definitely agree, if there was no truth in the critique, people would be able to overlook the criticism more so than otherwise.

     I’m looking forward to your upcoming article!

     Reply
2. Alastair Lancaster says:

   November 10, 2009 at 21:25

   Sorry! This is a second comment on the same day! I got interested.

   May I recommend you think of yourself as being employed BY YOURSELF? You lend your services. This liberates you from bullies because you then seek the most fabulous results for your own personal satisfaction and super-high standards. An employer may think he or she is your boss. But, you are a secret agent from potentially the most interesting new “business” on the planet, of its kind. You can get passionate about brilliant work for your own company. YOU are the Company, for life!

   Hope the thought is of use.

   Alastair
   Alastair Lancaster´s last blog ..Disloyalty of the Conservative Party

   Reply
   • K says:

     November 11, 2009 at 02:46

     Alastair, the more comments, the merrier. Don’t ever apologize for reading my content and actually thinking about it!

     And the thought is of use, thank you for sharing it. I liked that you said “You lend your services.” This is definitely a wonderful way of thinking – you should write a whole post on this!

     Reply
     • Alastair Lancaster says:

       November 11, 2009 at 04:49

       Always Be Unexpected!

       You suggest that I write a post on “Lending Our Services”. It does not fit with what my blog is doing at this moment. So, I give the matter a “sudden, unexpected twist” and post in on your blog! Leave it as a comment or copy and paste, employing it as you wish.

       We go through life feeling battered until we discover a truth. We own our lives! In the sense that other people don’t. Next: We cannot be controlled unless we give permission. I remember a bishop coming to my school, who had been tortured for years in a Japanese prisoner-of-war camp. They never broke him. His secret? He always imagined his torturer sitting on a baby’s potty, screaming his demands. The man was dis-empowered by that belief. The pain was shrunk, as was the man.

       This has larger meaning. We are not the possession of the State. In democracy, we lend our power to government. We can withdraw it! As we lend our goodwill, support, talents, skills and resources, we require accountability from officials. The great word is sovereignty. We are to rule our lives and all that we authorise. Politicians do not like that truth! It has a majesty that brings them to heel.

       When we lend our goodwill to each other, we start a little renaissance. Think of the possibilities!

       How many good thoughts are abandoned because of the chill of criticism? A countless number. But those chills are ideal tests. The most wonderful ideas need a belief system powerful enough to drive them to success. We cannot fulfil our unlimited possibilities if we allow our power to be stolen by others. But, all becomes possible when we believe in both our goals and our power to reach them. In effect, we “lend” or give ourselves the gift of success, in advance.

       No bank will lend to us until it is persuaded that we have given ourselves the permission to succeed. At which point, why borrow from them anyway? After all, we are inexhaustibly rich between our ears.

       As for employment, we lend our resources: intelligence, skill, time and heart. Every moment is part of running the real business: ourselves, superbly. Employers want people who think like employers! These they promote for common-sense reasons. Because such employees pursue excellence and because employers would lose both opportunity and income if they didn’t. They will pay more to gain more.

       The hidden brand is the superb employee who is the ruler of his or her unique and valuable internal domain. Invisible, yet manifest in every action!
       Alastair Lancaster´s last blog ..A New Magna Carta: from the People to Representatives

       Reply
       • K says:

         November 11, 2009 at 05:51

         Ooh, unexpected twists make me very happy! Thank you Alastair. I will do with it as I wish and post it as a post with a link to you on Friday. I can’t promise it’ll send loads of traffic your way, because after all… I still need traffic myself, but nevertheless – you’ll be my first “guest post”, as they like to call it in the blogosphere.

         Reply
3. Sonia Thomas says:

   November 11, 2009 at 15:44

   I loved this post. I’m very bad at taking criticisms. I break down into tears immediately. Off late i’ve learn to control my emotions, to have patience to listen and to ask questions.

   I love the way you write. You follow the category of ppl who look at the glass half full. I’m the half empty category and i’m desperately trying to move to the other side.

   Reply
   • K says:

     November 11, 2009 at 16:08

     Hi Sonia, thank you for the comment. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea – although I do try very hard to see the glass as half full, I do fail, I do have bad days. That’s one of the most important things to understand – we will fail. You have to fail in order to improve yourself.

     Moving over to the other side doesn’t mean that your life will be fantastic every day, and if you understand and come to terms with that, you can take the next step. The steps also don’t have to be big. Improvement is slow, it doesn’t just happen overnight. The important thing is however, that you want to think more positive and you want to be the best you can be – and that desire will take you there.

     Reply