Thankful Thursdays: Week 46

This week, I am thankful for having an Entree near by. What’s better than having a French inspired cafe, offering fresh breads, meringue and lovely chocolate croissants, 5 minutes from where you live? Well, having a real French cafe 5 minutes from where you live, of course. But since I don’t plan on, nor would I want to move to France, a Georgian take on the French cafe is deeply appreciated. I also can’t begin to tell you how thankful I am that my MacBook is still alive after hearing it hyperventilate quite extremely last night.

My iPod. That might seem like an overly materialistic thing to be thankful for, but I do have good reasons. Or rather, at least one good reason. To those of you who don’t know, I just moved in with my boyfriend a few months ago. No, I don’t listen to my iPod so that I won’t have to listen to him. Rather, I listen to the iPod so that my music won’t disturb his work time. At first, not being able to blast my music at any given hour of the day was something that bothered me. I’ve lived with many people before, all friends. The thing with living with friends is that we were at the same stage in life, studied together, watched movies together, worked similar hours and that of course also means that, most of the time, we also listened to music together. We’d blast whatever song we’d be loving at the moment, jump on our beds, paint our nails and converse until the wee hours of the night. Thats the beauty of being a student of the female sex.

Living with a boyfriend who has practice questions, lessons and exams to write and classes to teach is a bit different, especially if his schedule is much different than your own, which is the case with M and I. However, for my own work, I need music. Music is a major source of inspiration for me and it also helps to keep my thoughts on track when writing. That’s of course, where the iPod comes in. The iPod is something I didn’t always have, but received as a belated birthday present just a few weeks ago. It’s extremely useful to me and M, who benefits from it in the sense that he can concentrate on his work without listening to the same David Gray song 50 consecutive times.

Which leads me to another thing I am thankful for this week. David Gray. If you don’t know David Gray, please get to know him. He might not be to you what he is to me, and you may not even appreciate him at all, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give him a chance. I’m especially thankful for David Gray this week, because I’m a dreamer. Let me explain. I started my This is not America blog when M and I moved to Tbilisi. It was mainly for our friends and family so that they can keep up with us without having to write too many e-mail updates. I never intended for it to be read by others, but, I was definitely not going to complain if someone besides family and friends read it. For the longest time however, I have wanted to start a blog that I did actually intend to spread out. So, after a couple of weeks of preparing, I finally started this one. Of course, like most people I can imagine, I had visions of it becoming famous, getting book deals, and becoming the next Seth Godin. Yeah, well… that didn’t happen. It didn’t happen because success just doesn’t happen overnight. It takes many months and even years for some success to show itself. And it will only show itself if you deserve it (or if you’re extremely lucky). Throughout my first few weeks of starting this blog, I was extremely discouraged. No one visited my blog, and despite leaving comments on blogs whose content I loved, no one seemed to love my content back. I’d be sitting up at 3 am writing a new post and halfway through, I would wonder what the point was? I’m not a good writer. My content is not terribly original. I’m just another blogger. Nothing sets me apart. Blah, blah, blah.

But despite my self pity, there was David Gray and Annie Lennox cheering me on with their beautiful voices. David Gray’s song Full Steam is what kept me writing, kept me ‘running full steam ahead’. And through this song and other inspiration, I came to the realization that it’s okay. It’s okay to be a no-body in the blogosphere right now. It’s okay to develop slowly. It’s okay because I have made a decision to work as hard as I can to do that which I love, and I do believe that with this passion, I will eventually get somewhere. And since I’m writing this as I am once again listening to David Gray, you can assume a couple of things. First, that I have an unhealthy obsession with David Gray. Second, that I’m still feeling discouraged, every day. But every day that I continue to give it 100% against my fear of failing, I know that I am a tiny bit closer to my goal. For now, that’s all that matters.

And what may you be thankful for today?

4 Responses to “Thankful Thursdays: Week 46”

1. Mr. Apron says:

   November 13, 2009 at 00:24

   I’m thankful that my little car accident this morning was just that: little.

   And that my coffee didn’t spill.
   Mr. Apron´s last blog ..The Penalty Box

   Reply
   • K says:

     November 13, 2009 at 07:51

     Well, little car accident is definitely better than not so little, however little would still throw me over the edge. I’ve never had a car accident and I have an intense fear of it. I don’t fear my life, but my cars life. And even more than that, I fear that I just won’t know what to do. No matter how many times I run the scenario over in my head and I tell myself exactly what someone would do in the case of an accident, I seem to always forget it. It just doesn’t click – perhaps I’m missing something. Either way, I’m glad you’re not me and you probably knew what to do.

     Ah, and coffee spilling would have been absolutely horrible! You’re a lucky man, Mr. Apron.

     Reply
2. A. says:

   December 19, 2009 at 09:08

   Dear,
   your blog is so inspiring and I can’t express enough how much I love your writing style. Promise you never ever stop!! Keep at it, it’s your incredible talent that you must share with people, tell ’self-doubt’ to fuck itself!
   Thanks for putting a smile on my face after a shitty day.
   xo

   Reply
   • K says:

     December 24, 2009 at 13:52

     Thank you A.! I like how you name yourself A. as I name myself K.

     xo!

     Reply